An Ode To The Litterbug

This nation needs to applaud

To the birth of this being

Truly a man of action

Unruly to the saner lot,

Let me introduce you

To the great Indian litterbug

The more I say

The better it gets,

It ain’t going to be pretty

But who cares about what you think?

It’s all about him

And how he spits shines,

He can paan-parade on somebody

By dangling off the foot-board

Not bothered about the expletives

That would decorate his eardrums,

No, he is too cool for you

And you can only aspire

To become like him

Or are you him already?

His fingers itch to throw something

Not into the trash bin

Because that would be a sin

How offensive that sounds!

All hail, open defecation

Didn’t you know, that is so

In the season

Let it trend on the internet!

He creates a new revolution

Oh, the litterbug,

Is a freaking sensation

Wish everyone were like him,

This narcissistic celebrity

Whom you all should hero-worship

Is spreading the plague

All over the city,

Our spiritual and holy lands

Conquered by this beloved bug

Who only wishes to begrime it all!

Oh, won’t you let him do it?

This awesome superstar

Disperses only filth

Might not need your help

But sends out the distress call,

Soon you shall follow

Heed to the mighty litterbug

For he will trap you

In his disconcerting trance,

We shelter this creature

Nurturing and educating him

And he opts to ignore

His sense of morality,

He loves to throw a trash-y party

Painting the country red

With splattering tobacco

And a heartless body,

He lives amidst us

Ostentatiously, moves through the ruckus

Having started it by himself

Loving every bit of attention,

He ballet-dances

Around open siphons

Trash here, trash there

And let it rain everywhere,

He flatters the undisturbed walls

With his artistic abilities

He draws the maze of urination

Contributing to society,

He is the proud son

Of mommy India

A being born out of

Encouragement and hope,

The litterbug simply loves

To frolic in filth

Ignoring the clarion cry

Of our incredible Modi Man,

But I already told you

He is too cool for that

Because the PM has got

Nothing on him!

To hell with ‘A Swacch Bharat’

He says, and vows to never

Volunteer to do abominable tasks

Or burden him with unholy promises,

Such is the mind

Of the great Indian litterbug

What if he is Loki’s devotee?

Because he does what he wants!

He dares the people

To dream of cleaner grass

And pretty park benches

For it will remain a dream,

No one can defeat

The great Indian litterbug

He defies the litter-god himself

If there was one!

The Times Of India cover

(Picture Courtesy : IndiBlogger )

Visit http://greatindian.timesofindia.com/ for more humorous stories on the Great Indian Litterbug.

This post is a part of The Great Indian Litterbug contest, hosted by IndiBlogger as a part of Indi-Happy Hours in association with The Times of India

 

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Toss That Dirty Pile! – #IsLaundryOnlyAWomansJob

Has your blood ever boiled when you look at that mounting pile of clothes that needs to be laundered? Has your brain screamed at you that it can’t take it no more? If you are the one who sulks their shoulders and gives in to the monstrosity that is spread out in front of you, well then, welcome to the You-Got-To-Do-The-Laundry-Yourself club!

It is tiresome to just look at the basket that needs tending. We are the lucky ones who get a washing machine and a drier to take care of the stinky lot, think about the good old days when our mothers used to hand-wash all that filthy laundry! I am already getting the jitters.

I remember the time when I used to live with my parents. How carefree and fun it used to be. My mother as a full-time home-maker and she took care of everything and everyone. The ultimate sacrifice I call it now, but I did not realize it then. Somehow we tend to mentally brand our mothers are working machines who are obliged to do the house-hold chores. Even though I helped around a little bit, I always made excuses and wiggled out of doing a chore.

Whenever she would assign a task to me, it would feel so burdensome. Her complaints rang all over the house that she never gets a helping hand and I get all guilt-ridden and wish I had helped out more. But it is too late by the time it hits me. There would be no words to console her at that point. My father would join in on the orchestra and begin to mock my laziness. But I have always wondered – would it kill him to do a few chores himself? Not that he does not help with the weight-lifting and everything, but sometimes (or almost all the time) he loves to slug around and just watch T.V. falling into that proportion of Indian men who prefer relaxing than help with the house-hold chores.

I mean I am talking about someone who cannot operate the ruddy machine without my mom’s help, despite being educated or whatever. It is actually funny to watch him try to just put the machine in the spin mode. He gets all worked up and starts to hunt down the manual, tearing the whole place down in the process and giving my mom a miniature heart-attack. And there, he just scored himself a spot in the lot of that 77% of men who depend on the women for doing the laundry.

I don’t blame my dad though, he was brought up that way all pampered and spoilt. My grandmother probably never allowed him to do his own chores, never giving him the opportunity to take care of himself. It would have changed a lot of things now if she had done so. They stuck to the ‘this-is-not-a-man’s-job’ code. This gave birth to my dad’s attitude landing him in that 76% of men who believe that laundry is a woman’s job!

What truly aggravates me is when women get blamed for having misplaced a stupid sock! No matter how hard you try to pair up those rascals, one of them just seems to go on a hike. I would advice the men to stop taunting women about the responsibility crap if they cannot help around with the laundry in the first place. I really cannot digest their audacity when it comes to that situation, nothing is more bothersome.

statsariel

Laundry should not be branded as a woman’s chore because it is not just the clothes we are talking about. The big picture includes curtains, sofa-covers, table-cloths, napkins, carpets, washable shoes, certain types of bags and the list is endless. The women diligently mark certain days in their calendars to wash the above-mentioned stuff in a systematic manner and no one but they seem to be equipped with that sort of talent. It is truly shocking.  Wouldn’t it be awesome if we got the family to pitch in their support to do this prosaic task? Extra pair of arms is always advantageous, don’t you think!

I am writing for #IsLaundryOnlyAWomansJob activity at BlogAdda.com in association with Ariel.

You Are Worthy And You Know It – #UseYourAnd

I have made some incredibly foolish decisions in my life. There are so many that it has become countless. No doubt that it will continue in the future as well, but I would like to point out one such decision that changed my life.

Competing for the post of Literary and Debating Secretary in the Students’ Council (Year: 2013-2014) was a rash and stupid decision. It can be compared to deliberately burning oneself alive. Despite my seniors warning me about what is at stake and everything, I just went on the jolly ride. And let me tell you, it was not as “jolly” as I thought it would be. But I would like to give credit to one person who made it out alive with me, and that is Lubna, who was the General Secretary then.

It was a difficult time in my life when I was juggling both college and my marriage. Especially during the second year of my college, I was determined to go out there and “find myself”. Though I could feel the weight of the mounting tags – Student, Wife and Daughter-in-law, I just wanted to wiggle out to feel normal, bunking classes and being reckless. In addition to all those tags, I had brought on the Students’ Council business upon myself, knowing all too well that it is going to be a living hell.

Thinking about those days gives me the jitters, because I know the things that I have sacrificed and the things that I had done to please everyone. It was unwise and imprudent, but I had to try. I would never be able to forgive myself if I hadn’t put myself through that implausible journey. Today, I can proudly say that I managed to do justice to all those roles, not up to anyone’s satisfaction, but to mine. I am glad that I made all the heedless choices and ended up here, feeling satiated.

I chose, not wisely but to my own accord. It is that feeling of self-gratification, when you want to thank no one but yourself, when you know that whatever you did is because of what you decided to become regardless of what people say. Prove to yourself that you are worthy, because your opinion about yourself matters the most.

Theme : Journey from ‘OR’ to ‘AND’ – Your story of how you took charge of life and made a choice, not a compromise. When you refused to choose one thing OR the other, and instead followed your heart. Tell us your story or an inspirational story of a woman you know that defines #UseYourAnd. You can also tag a woman blogger in your blog post who exemplifies #UseYourAnd, because we would love it if all of these stories came out into the world for all to see.

#UseYourAnd activity

This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus

No More Unidimensional Labels (#UseYourAnd)

I am incredible, amazing and extremely smart. Hell, I am the best thing that happened on this earth. I know what you are thinking, but it is almost impossible to stop myself from patting myself on the back. This is a long overdue self-appreciation post. When I look in the mirror, I cannot help but think how lucky I am to just be myself, to be in my skin.

How many times has it been that you have read somewhere how would it be to become someone you are not? You wake up one day and then you are someone else. Can you imagine the repercussions? Do you think you will be able to pull it off, even for a day? I might be excited for five minutes and then lose my mind, eventually.

I want to wake up every day and say yes to my reflection, be blessed that I was the born the way I am. I might be afraid but I am glad that it is a part of me.

It is hard to visualize my life without writing. One would say that it is my oxygen. I am no prophetess, but I do write decent poetry. It is one channel of letting me run wild and free. When the ink touches the paper and the words start to flow unconditionally, I know I belong there.

Teaching is almost a similar phenomenon. Nothing gives me more joy than spending time with the little devils. They may claw and cuddle, but I know I want to be there with them, every morning, listening to their ridiculous qualms. I think it is that reverent look they give you and worshiping your every word. Honestly, I never knew I had it in me to become one.

It has been seven months since my belly started to swell, and we all know what that means. One more tag is along the way. I don’t know what kind of mother I am going to turn out to be, but I will give it all I that I have got. I just want to be there for my child when he or she needs me. I want to love and be loved in return.

Nothing and I mean nothing can stop what you want to be and what you aspire to become in the future. As Meghan Trainor said, every inch of you is perfect from the bottom to the top. Why do you compromise with others for what you are made of? #UseYourAnd, hold your head high and be known for more than one label that defines you. I am proud to call myself a poetess, a writer, a teacher and a soon-to-be mother.

What about you?

Theme : Things that define me – Every woman has some things that she is passionate about, things that make her who she is. Tell us about the things that are important to you, the multitude of things that make you who you are, because you can’t be limited by one label.

#UseYourAnd activity

This post is a part of #UseYourAnd activity at BlogAdda in association with Gillette Venus“.

 

Just another number (#12 W.O.W)

I don’t believe in new beginnings, especially at the birth of a new year. Why should I change myself or list out resolutions once we shift from one year to another? The notion seems ridiculous to me. Although January was a special month for me as I count back an incident that happened years ago. (Now rejuvenated with the Hobbit Movies) It was when I was in my eighth grade and completely in love with Orlando Bloom. (He played the character of Legolas the Elf) That was the time when my friends and I were OBSESSED WITH THE LORD OF THE RINGS movie series. And obsessed does not even begin to encompass the insanity.

Coincidentally, Orlando’s birthday fell on January the thirteenth. We used to celebrate it with all the sweet goodies and a good old marathon of the LOTR trilogy. It surprises me when I recall that journey which used to be a crucial part of my life. Not that I don’t obsess over shows or movies now, but it was a whole other level back then.

And now I sit behind a laptop, clad in my comfy jeans, typing away this ludicrous episode, telling the world that I am not intimidated by the New Year. Nothing is going to stop what is about to come or what we are fated to face. Treat it like any other year, numbers should not matter anymore.

wowbadge

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.