An Ode To The Litterbug

This nation needs to applaud

To the birth of this being

Truly a man of action

Unruly to the saner lot,

Let me introduce you

To the great Indian litterbug

The more I say

The better it gets,

It ain’t going to be pretty

But who cares about what you think?

It’s all about him

And how he spits shines,

He can paan-parade on somebody

By dangling off the foot-board

Not bothered about the expletives

That would decorate his eardrums,

No, he is too cool for you

And you can only aspire

To become like him

Or are you him already?

His fingers itch to throw something

Not into the trash bin

Because that would be a sin

How offensive that sounds!

All hail, open defecation

Didn’t you know, that is so

In the season

Let it trend on the internet!

He creates a new revolution

Oh, the litterbug,

Is a freaking sensation

Wish everyone were like him,

This narcissistic celebrity

Whom you all should hero-worship

Is spreading the plague

All over the city,

Our spiritual and holy lands

Conquered by this beloved bug

Who only wishes to begrime it all!

Oh, won’t you let him do it?

This awesome superstar

Disperses only filth

Might not need your help

But sends out the distress call,

Soon you shall follow

Heed to the mighty litterbug

For he will trap you

In his disconcerting trance,

We shelter this creature

Nurturing and educating him

And he opts to ignore

His sense of morality,

He loves to throw a trash-y party

Painting the country red

With splattering tobacco

And a heartless body,

He lives amidst us

Ostentatiously, moves through the ruckus

Having started it by himself

Loving every bit of attention,

He ballet-dances

Around open siphons

Trash here, trash there

And let it rain everywhere,

He flatters the undisturbed walls

With his artistic abilities

He draws the maze of urination

Contributing to society,

He is the proud son

Of mommy India

A being born out of

Encouragement and hope,

The litterbug simply loves

To frolic in filth

Ignoring the clarion cry

Of our incredible Modi Man,

But I already told you

He is too cool for that

Because the PM has got

Nothing on him!

To hell with ‘A Swacch Bharat’

He says, and vows to never

Volunteer to do abominable tasks

Or burden him with unholy promises,

Such is the mind

Of the great Indian litterbug

What if he is Loki’s devotee?

Because he does what he wants!

He dares the people

To dream of cleaner grass

And pretty park benches

For it will remain a dream,

No one can defeat

The great Indian litterbug

He defies the litter-god himself

If there was one!

The Times Of India cover

(Picture Courtesy : IndiBlogger )

Visit http://greatindian.timesofindia.com/ for more humorous stories on the Great Indian Litterbug.

This post is a part of The Great Indian Litterbug contest, hosted by IndiBlogger as a part of Indi-Happy Hours in association with The Times of India

 

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