Dear 16-year-old me

Dear 16-year-old me,
Hey girl, how are you doing? I should tell you that I am in a great place right now, even though it is not the one you had sketched out for me. You were such a romantic and borderline foolish, God, I can still see it in my head. It is funny how we are both the same person yet I dissociate myself from you and view you as another entity.

 

I can’t begin to describe how selfish you were, always looking out for yourself and worrying about your fate. It’s crazy that we don’t even live in Dubai anymore because all the while we thought we would stay there forever by marrying a certain someone with a lot of wealth. It was all that you ever wanted, to drive around in a fancy car with “him” by your side and make everyone jealous of your fabulous life. Knock some sense into yourself because he is just a boy and he will never grow into the man you want to be with. Dream big and you will reach a point in life where you find some purpose, sort of. Don’t determine your worth by latching onto another person.
 Swear all you want, love, but it is the bitter truth. One piece of advice, never let anyone tell you that you are not good enough because you are yourself and that is all that you need to know. You have a long fight ahead of you and you will have to make choices that will rip your heart out. Watch out for the faux friends and their ridiculous smiles. But I can assure you that I am still obsessed with T.V shows because no one can take that kind of crazy away from us overnight! Make mistakes, though, only then will you realise your true passion.

 

Yours sincerely,
23-year-old you

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‘This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.’

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MasterChef U.S? More like the hunger games.

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It is an infuriating show that you cannot avoid, because it is in your face asking you to watch the damned thing. What a pain, right? But here is how I started to watch this show, I had nothing to watch. I know it sounds lame, but hey, I have to watch something or otherwise I might just lose my mind in this big apartment of mine. This show has everything that should not be in a culinary program. The episode time frame is about forty-two minutes and man, should I say it is disappointing as hell when they don’t even delve into the techniques of the cooking the contestants present.

Three things that mainly constitute this T.V show, drama, cussing and trashing-the-whole-freaking-plate! I mean, learn something from MasterChef Australia and stop referring to your show as the “only culinary show in the world” when you got the big guns (Like MasterChef Australia) being the front-runners. I know it is basically under the same banner, but the amount of difference they can put up is staggering. I say learn how to be poise, charming, elegant and good-hearted from Australia’s finest judges – Matt, George and Gary. Those three are like gems that don’t need polishing. I would just give them all a big hug and cry my eyes out when I meet them, they are adorable people.

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In the MasterChef U.S, the three judges deviously pit the contestants against one another, juicing out more and more drama as the episodes go by. The contestants dance to the cruel tune of the judges, or should I say ‘The Puppet Masters’?
Gordon Ramsay has a track record for swearing, and honestly, I am so used to his abusive way of speaking to the home-cooks that it does not even bother me anymore. But I am always shocked when I recall that he did work under the legendary Marco Pierre White. It is disturbing to admit that so effortlessly.

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Graham Elliot has a neutral way of handling things, there obviously has to be that one guy in the panel who seems unbiased and righteous.

Joe Bastianich is probably the most conniving and manipulative tool. He fuels the contestants’ rage and makes them do or say something that they would regret for the rest of the show (not that they all do). One moment you go like, ‘whoa’, and then the next you are like, ‘WHAT THE **** JUST HAPPENED?’

The contestants are a whole other chapter, man I could go on and on about them all day. They are all so cocky, dominant and obnoxious. There is so much open animosity in the entire show and they can never stand one another at all. Where is the concept of ‘healthy competition’, y’all?

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They repetitively swear and wish that their competitors fall flat on their faces. They are a bunch of raging pit bulls who show no mercy or compassion to one another. You almost gasp every time when one of them states an opinion about a fellow contender. But you will eventually get used to it. I watched six seasons of Gossip Girl for “drama” and I do not need one in the form of a cooking show. Grow up, people, the junior MasterChef is way ahead of you lot.

And that is how a world-class culinary show (which they claim to be) turns into the hunger games. No pun intended there.

Can you forgive yourself?

Forgiveness is something that you grant to someone who deserves it, but you do it on your own terms. But what if you did something that you never forgave yourself for? What if something that you did in your past haunts you to this very day? Will you be able to lavishly forgive yourself or do you not want that liberty?

Everyone does some unspeakable things that they do not wish to think about, it lands in that part of the brain that acts as a black-hole. It sucks out the gruesome details and exhausts it outwards, hoping to leave peace in its place. But does it really get flushed out?

I do not wish to disclose what I had done in the past for I am still ashamed of that abominable act. It still burns my heart to this very day, when will I be able to move past from that day? How foolish was I to think that no one would find out about what I had done. Only three people knew about that incident, my mother, my uncle and his wife. They promised to forgive me for what they described as a “sin”, but they so very graciously granted me forgiveness. What they never realized was that it was never their place to grant it at all.

I had committed that sin knowingly…and that is what bothers me to this day. I knew that I was stepping into the quicksand and fell into its clasp intentionally. But I am not able to discriminate my decision conclusively. If only I predicted the consequences, if only I had been a tad more heedful. I gave in to the situation, I became weak. And I that is what I hate the most.

So, what is that extravagant offer that I made to myself, it was nothing but forgiveness. I wished to release all that anger and vexation from my heart, mind and soul. For everything had become tainted when I committed that sin and I was unaware of that. I resolved to grant myself forgiveness for a sin I had obligated myself to a very long time ago. It gave me peace and happiness, like an enormous rock had been lifted off of my chest. I felt liberated and contended. That was a magical moment in my life, a gift that I gave myself after years of self-torment and denial.

This is my story on how I selfishly went about and made myself feel special. I listened to my heart and I decided to love myself a bit. Don’t we all deserve a little love that we often need to spare for ourselves as well? And that was exactly what I did, for a change I treated myself to the luxury of forgiveness. You should feel special and loved once in a while, and that doesn’t always have to be expected from someone else, it could just be you because no one can judge you harder that yourself. You fret and flee from the many faces that lie within you which you do not wish to confront. Yet, you have to, one way or another.

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“I am participating in the #DilKiDealOnSnapdeal activity at BlogAdda in association with SnapDeal.”

Just another number (#12 W.O.W)

I don’t believe in new beginnings, especially at the birth of a new year. Why should I change myself or list out resolutions once we shift from one year to another? The notion seems ridiculous to me. Although January was a special month for me as I count back an incident that happened years ago. (Now rejuvenated with the Hobbit Movies) It was when I was in my eighth grade and completely in love with Orlando Bloom. (He played the character of Legolas the Elf) That was the time when my friends and I were OBSESSED WITH THE LORD OF THE RINGS movie series. And obsessed does not even begin to encompass the insanity.

Coincidentally, Orlando’s birthday fell on January the thirteenth. We used to celebrate it with all the sweet goodies and a good old marathon of the LOTR trilogy. It surprises me when I recall that journey which used to be a crucial part of my life. Not that I don’t obsess over shows or movies now, but it was a whole other level back then.

And now I sit behind a laptop, clad in my comfy jeans, typing away this ludicrous episode, telling the world that I am not intimidated by the New Year. Nothing is going to stop what is about to come or what we are fated to face. Treat it like any other year, numbers should not matter anymore.

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This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Black is Badass. #WHATTHEBLACK

 Black is a special color in my life, as it helps me to be hidden, or should we say stay undercover? I know it sounds completely weird, but hey, black is as stealth as a shadow. Black is dark, brooding, mesmerizing and sure as shooting BEAUTIFUL. I have a peculiar list of black things that I would want in my life. Here goes!

Christian Louboutins

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I have always wanted a pair of black louboutins, but honestly, I don’t think I have the confidence to rock the pair. I feel like you need the elegance and poise to carry it off. But one day, I hope to wear them with the swagger that remains in my head alone.

 

Owl Pendant

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I have been searching for the perfect black owl pendant since I developed a penchant for owl inspired accessories. Seriously though, they make you look adorable even when you are a giant (like me). So yeah, that would definitely be a part of my black-stuff-I-want-to-Possess list.

 

James Buchanan(Bucky)Barnes– The Winter Soldier

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The whole idea of being a spy, dressed entirely in black is appealing and sexy. But when it comes to redefining all that brooding and pain smashed into one, I would hand it over to none other than the Winter Soldier portrayed by actor Sebastian Stan. I simply loved the depth of the character and how Stan managed to capture the raw agony bubbling beneath the surface of a very calm and confident spy. He is dressed entirely in black except for his shining metallic arm with the soviet red star. I don’t think I need to explain my reasons for wanting to possess him!

Dusk Abaya

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This is abaya is a part of an exclusive collection from Inayah, an online Abaya store that has various types of abayas for people who would just look too damn cool if they donned them. This is one of my personal favourites because it is something that I would dare to wear. It is classy and fine, and damn, the mid-section of this excellent piece makes me go wild. I want this one, real bad!

 

 Bangles

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I think bangles can beautify anyone. Especially for someone like me who prefers to be seen in an abaya when I am out. It makes me feel cool, and these black babies will simply do the trick. Slipping in some metallic bangles will just glorify the black ones, making them stand out distinctively.

 

 

5 things that you love in Black!

This post is a part of #WhatTheBlack activity at BlogAdda.com